I know it is seen by many as a pointless event, which is desperately held onto and commercialised by greeting card companies and countless stores around the world alike; just another way of producing revenue at a time when people are hesitant to spend, as many are still recovering from the devastation that Christmas and the holiday season have had on their bank accounts. Sure, I can see that, and to an extent it is sure to be true. It certainly has been commercialised. And I'll be honest, if someone spends a fortune on me for Valentine's day, I'm certainly not going to complain. I do, however, like to think of it as a whole lot more than that. I like to think that Valentine's day is the perfect excuse to put in that little bit of extra effort to show that special someone how we feel; a day where you consider the significant moments in your relationship/s that are worth remembering.
Don't have a special someone? I don't see why it should be restricted to people we are linked with romantically or sexually. Best friends, parents, people we'd like to get to know better... There is no reason why we cannot show our appreciation to these people as well. As far as I can tell, there is also no need to spend copious amounts of money on the occasion, although admittedly it can make it a little easier if you've got the money to spare. I like to consider the memories I share with a particular person and do something that shows them that I haven't forgotten. It could be remembering something you laughed about together, a moment that you experienced together that touched you, or reminding them what makes them so special in your life.
Another thing I often hear people complaining about when a day like Valentine's day or an anniversary is approaching: "Why should we need a particular day or an excuse to celebrate our love for one another?" My response? We shouldn't. And as far as I'm concerned, we don't. The thing is, if we were to do these kinds of special things every day, they could cease to be special after a while. (And many of us would end up constantly broke!) You should definitely still remember to show your appreciation for your partner (or friends) every other day by doing the little things that show you're thinking about them. The things that, although they may be meaningless in the long run, you know will make the receiver smile. I am fortunate enough to have found someone who seems to understand this, and I've got to admit, it makes a world of difference. It only takes a small gesture - a text message that shows you're thinking about them, remembering something trivial they may have since forgotten telling you, even thanking them for something that they have done for you - to reassure and make it known that you care and are actually paying attention. A special day to complement, reinforce and add to the general positive feelings in a relationship, along with more special memories to add to the collection, can only be a good thing, right?
I also think a lot of people need a bit of prodding sometimes. We tend to get caught up in the mundanity of our lives, and some of us require a special occasion to kick us into gear, or to remind us that if we don't make sure people know how we feel about them they may not hang around. We all need reassurance sometimes. That said, it's important not to have unrealistic expectations of our partners (or friends). You may have these idealistic thoughts in mind, where they sweep you off your feet with some sort of "unexpected" romantic gesture. Sometimes it just isn't possible. I was listening to the radio around this time last year, and people were calling in about the biggest mistakes them or their partners have made on Valentine's day. One of the guys had had a hard day at work, and was required to work late when the couple had a special dinner booked. He completely forgot about the occasion, and arrived home to his angry missus. I don't remember the specifics of her retaliation, but I remember thinking she should give the guy a break. What's the point of getting angry or upset over that? It didn't exactly sound like it was completely his fault, or that he enjoyed it. If you're balancing your whole relationship on how the other performs on special occasions, then it's probably not really worth it. To quote a 90's boy band, "Where's the love?"
I have to say it though: this is only my opinion, which is based solely on my experiences and those I have spoken to. Everyone's free to have their own beliefs - and it's probably a good idea to establish where a loved one is at in terms of Valentine's day, anniversaries, etc early on, because you wouldn't want to have expectations of someone who has absolutely no intention to deliver. I just hope that those who disagree can, at the very least, see my point. Valentine's day is worth celebrating. Love is always worth celebrating.
Love is the only passion which includes in its dreams the happiness of someone else.
~ Karr
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